From type A to type “oh well”: learning to let go with a newborn

As a Type A person, I’ve always thrived on structure, routine, and control. Before my baby was born, I had everything planned—the perfect nursery, detailed schedules, and a vision of how life would flow once she arrived.

But then reality hit: a newborn who had no interest in my plans.

The feeding times, naps, and bedtime routines I tried to set never went the way I imagined. Just when I thought I had figured out a rhythm, everything changed again. Days blurred into nights, and the lack of predictability was overwhelming. For someone who thrives on routine, it felt like the ground had been pulled out from under me.

The emotional toll was heavy. I kept asking myself: Why can’t I make this work? What kind of mom can’t even keep a schedule? I felt guilty for struggling—like I was failing at the very thing I thought I’d be good at. But over time, I began to understand: babies don’t follow blueprints. The lack of structure wasn’t my failure—it was simply reality.

With a newborn, success doesn’t come from sticking to a perfect schedule. Some days, success is simply getting my baby to sleep. Other days, it’s adjusting our plans or even reshaping social outings around her needs. I’m learning that flexibility matters more than predictability, and that presence matters more than planning.

I’m still learning. Schedules may never look the way I once imagined, but I’m beginning to accept that unpredictability is part of this season. The control I thought I needed is giving way to something better: adapting, showing up, and meeting my daughter where she’s at.

To my fellow Type A moms: you’re not alone. Letting go of strict schedules doesn’t mean you’re failing. Motherhood isn’t about perfect routines—it’s about showing up, being present, and trusting that you are enough, exactly as you are.