The defining moment of it all: when you actually become a mom
They tell you about contractions. They tell you about pushing. They tell you that you’ll cry tears of joy when you meet your baby.
But what no one tells you about is this:
The exact moment you actually become a mom.
It doesn’t feel magical.
It feels… bizarre.
The moment no one warns you about
It’s in that second, right after the final push.
The room is spinning. Your body is shaking. You’re dazed, confused, probably dehydrated and emotionally DONE.
“Congrats, Mama!” Yep. That moment when the doctors and nurses congratulate you.
And you’re like…“Wait, what? I’m a mom now?”
“Yes, you are! And you have a beautiful baby.”
You just went through a massive experience that you’ve never been through before, piled on top of nearly 10 months of growing another human and its oddities. All to become a “mom.”
And just like that—you’re initiated.
No confetti. No slow-motion cinematic music. Just a wriggly new human, a deflating belly, and a tidal wave of WTF energy.
WTF just happened?!
Here were my exact thoughts as they placed my son on my chest:
“Did I just actually DO that?!”
“Did I actually create that?” (looking at the baby in my arms)
“Is anyone going to tell me what to do next?”
It’s astonishment. Exhaustion. Confusion. Surprise. Love? I think? It’s every emotion that you’re NOT prepared to handle.
There was no Hollywood moment of romanticized feelings. No rush maternal bliss. No warm and sparkling rainbows. Just me staring down on this wrinkly, new tiny human, thinking “What now?”
No one onboards you for motherhood
Here’s what they don’t say:
There’s no gradual ramp.
No training wheels.
No on-boarding process with a packet titled “So, You’re a Mom Now.”
You just are.
It’s like a light turned on, so to speak. One moment you’re not a Mom. The next you are.
Boom. That is instantaneous.
You can Google all night long, binge TikTok videos, take a birthing class or six but none of that prepares you for the exact moment.
Nobody talks about this. And we need to.
Because being a Mom isn’t just a physical change. It’s a mental, spiritual and emotional one…and that takes way longer.
The invisible evolution
So yes, I became a mom that day. In body, responsibility and name.
But in mind and soul?
Honestly, that shift is still happening.
Six months later, I’m still becoming Her.
The new “Mom” side of me. Whatever that looks like.
Still working through (and sometimes struggling with) the identity shift.
Still learning how to exactly be a “Mom” without losing who I am in the process. That’s the tough part.
Being Me and being Mom.
Some days I get it. Other days, I feel like Alice in Wonderland staring down the blue caterpillar asking “who ARE you?!”
The real welcome
If your “mom moment” doesn’t feel magical, welcome to the real club.
You’re not broken. You’re not missing one thing. You’re just in transition. One foot in your past life, one foot trying to make sense of this brave, new world.
I had to realize this, sometimes through mini existential crises. But I’m still fighting and flying. Like you. Like all of us.
So yes, you and I are Moms. In some sort of weird silent initiation ceremony, here we are.
But no, you don’t have to feel like one every second to be one.
We’re here. We’re doing it. And that’s enough.