Building a nest away from home: a military spouse’s journey
Being a military spouse comes with some unique challenges. While you and your partner are fully independent adults, you're also subject to sudden moves, government healthcare quirks, and unpredictable work hours. And when you add a growing family into the mix, let’s just say things get even more... unique!
A little about me to set the stage: I was born and raised in the heart of Phoenix, Arizona, five generations deep. My roots run strong there, and I know the people and places like the back of my hand. When I met my now-husband, we were just a couple of kids stepping into adulthood; finishing school, paying bills, and growing closer every year. A few years in, we started discussing the idea of him joining the military to further his medical career. We were all in. Go, America! Once things became more serious and he was officially commissioned, we had many conversations about the likelihood of eventually leaving Arizona.
Thankfully, we had four years before that reality hit, but I always knew it was coming. I had time to prepare mentally, but I had no idea how much I would truly miss my family and the only place I’d ever called home.
Fast forward to now: we recently celebrated one year since our move to Virginia Beach, Virginia. While I miss my family every single day, I’ve grown to love this new chapter. Living near the beach, exploring charming East Coast towns, and enjoying the seafood and southern hospitality has been a beautiful adventure.
So, how does this tie into postpartum and growing a family?
For the past three years, my husband and I have been trying to expand ours. A few months ago, we found out we're expecting a sweet baby boy. We are overjoyed, and our families, who have been with us every step of this fertility journey, are thrilled too.
Now halfway through pregnancy, I find myself thinking more and more about what’s ahead. The truth is, my support system is now three time zones and a five-hour flight away. During my first trimester, when I was so sick I could barely get off the couch, all I wanted was a home-cooked meal, a comforting distraction, and some company. My husband did what he could, but his schedule was anything but predictable.
I’ve thought a lot about what postpartum will look like. For 27 years, I lived within 5 to 30 minutes of my giant family. We celebrated every holiday together, gathered for Sunday dinners, and always showed up for each other. But now, as I approach year 28, life feels unfamiliar, and at times, lonely. That looming feeling has caught me off guard as I prepare to welcome our little one.
Two things can be true.
I can be over-the-moon excited to meet our baby boy and, at the same time, nervous about the lack of nearby support. I sometimes grieve the idea of what it would be like to give birth in my hometown hospital – the same one where my nieces and nephews were born – and to recover with my favorite comfort foods and the familiar faces of family around me.
But that’s not my reality. And I know I’m not alone; many military spouses face this exact situation. In this life, we both sacrifice in unique ways.
Rooted with Gratitude.
These thoughts will likely stay with me, but so will my deep gratitude – for this baby growing inside me, for my family who FaceTimes me regularly, and for the strength I’ve gained in doing hard things. I’m more empathetic than ever toward fellow military families, especially expectant moms far from home, and anyone navigating new chapters away from their roots.
If you’re a military spouse — or a mom or mom-to-be navigating life in a new hometown — I see you, and I’m right there with you. It’s not always easy to rebuild your sense of home from scratch, especially during such a tender and transitional time. And for those who know someone navigating life far from home, perhaps this can be a gentle reminder to reach out. Call your friends and check in on your family. If you can’t be there physically, get creative about how you can still show up — from a thoughtful message to a virtual coffee date. Even from a distance, connection matters ❤️.
